Cassie and Angie have done a fabulous job of hosting the I'm Hearing Voices Blogfest. While I'm happy I've grown from this experience (which helped my characters grow too) I'm also sad because this is the last challenge. I had so much fun!
Instructions for today's blogpost... Emotion Flash Fiction:
Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character. This will be a challenge in 250 words.
The below excerpt (in blue) will be included in my current YA work in progress. I chose to write about an emotion my MC, Kara, went through after a break-up. This flash fiction challenge was perfect for me because I'd left this part blank in my manuscript, too timid to touch it at the time. This helped me to dive in and embrace it.
I slide Brody’s black T-shirt over my head and breathe in his scent—sunshine after a rainstorm. Intoxicating.
Tears sting my already puffy eyes. My brain knows I should take off the shirt and throw it into the garbage. Or burn it. But my body doesn’t care because the need to be close to him consumes my crushed soul.
My thoughts continue to be invaded by memories—ones that I’m forced to carry around like overflowing bags that threaten to split apart. The way he made me laugh, so honest and carefree. The way he pulled me into his arms, so safe and strong. The way his lips pressed against mine, gentle and soft, then hungry and urgent. Like if our mouths parted from each other, we’d both die from lack of air.
And that’s what it feels like now. I’m smothering without his breath mingling with mine.
And that’s what it feels like now. I’m smothering without his breath mingling with mine.
I touch my lips, numb from his final kiss. His goodbye kiss. Our last kiss.
I collapse onto my bed and pull my knees to my chest. Taking deep breaths, I attempt to control my sobbing, but it’s pointless. I’m broken.
Pain, brutal and raw as it may be, surges through my veins like water from a dam that’s been destroyed. It’s as if all the scars I've collected throughout my life have been ripped open and placed on display for everyone to see.
People say pain lets you know you’re alive. That’s bullshit.
To me, it lets me know I’m dead.
Beautiful way of communicating loss! I'm wondering what happened between them, what tore them apart. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThank you! ^-^
DeleteOMG this is fantastic! Such wonderful description! I love it and feel it to the core!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! :D
DeleteI feel as thought I went through the break up with her and I've only read such a small part. Brillant!
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks! :)
DeleteI have so been there with the stuffed bags. Literally and emotionally. Even though it's a break up, the passion feels alive.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :D
DeleteSo well done! Love the name btw ;) My MCs full name is Akara, but her traveling companions call her Kara.
ReplyDeleteThe poor girl. I've never gone through a loss like this, but your writing took me there.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! ^_^
DeleteOh man! Putting you on my top picks right now! This was so beautifully sad, my heart was breaking with her. This definitely resonated with me. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHoly cow! What an awesome compliment! Thanks so much! :)
DeleteVery moving, good job!
ReplyDeleteThank you! ^_^
DeleteOhhhhh... moving. Seriously. You've got skills, girl. I like your writing. It's tight, powerful. Great scene. :D
ReplyDeleteAw, so sweet! Thank you for the uplifting words! :)
DeleteI really felt this!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! :D
DeleteIf you ever get this published (undoubtedly you will!), you are going to make teenagers forget who Stephanie Meyers ever was. This is so fantastic. I am so enthused - and I hate these sort of stories about "high school cheerleader pimple, pumps, purses and PSM crises" But I really like THIS.
ReplyDeleteWowzers! Thanks for the kind words! :)
DeleteLOVED your last line (and all the other lines actually :) This was beautifully written. My soul feels a little broken too.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! ^_^
DeleteWow, this is really powerful. I definitely feel the heartbreak she is feeling.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Melissa! :)
DeleteThis was really intense. We have all experienced the pain and trauma of a breakup and you have captured it perfectly. The raw emotions were real and pulling on me. I felt like it was happening to me and I was transformed back to a time when I felt just like this. You did an excellent job. Very authentic and powerful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Melissa! ^_^
DeleteI felt Kara's pain. Wow, intense. Great job, Jackie. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks!!! ^_^
DeleteAlways knew you were very creative and now I see this in your writing! Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteAww. That brings tears to my eyes! Thank you, Linda!
DeleteP.S. I had a wonderful teacher when it came to floral design. *wink*