Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Insecurity is winning, but not for long.

I'm a day early for Alex J. Cavanaugh’s IWSG since tomorrow is the 4th of July, and I don't think I'll be around bloggerville much, though I plan to sneak in some IWSG sites tomorrow. I'll also visit some blogs today and on Thursday.



So, a few weeks ago, my 11 yr old gave me a letter for my birthday.  He drew a bookshelf with books by me AND  a cool coupon for one free day of writing. He's the sweetest ever!



I cried. (big surprise) Yes, they were tears of happiness, but I felt a pang of fear as well.

Then, as I’ve been working on my WIP, that fear slowly trickled over into a full blown fear-fest. I became terrified that I’d let my family down.
And the wretched “What if’s” tormented me.

What if I don’t ever make it in the writing world? What if I never have a book pubbed? What if my family becomes disappointed in me?

I mean, my family is amazing, so I really don't think they'd think less of me. They are my biggest supporters. But deep down, I still get nervous.
And I know that I don’t need a book pubbed to acknowledge that I can write. Sure, I won’t lie, it’d be sa-weet, but being pubbed wouldn't prove that I'm a writer if I don't tackle my insecurities.
I just don't know how to go about doing that. I try to keep reminding myself that it’s up to me to stomp on those negative thoughts, but it's still difficult.
Figuring out a way to push the insecurities aside is important so they don't suffocate me and my dreams.
LOVE this quote below. Now if I would put it to use!



What do you do when the insecurities take over? Any tricks you'd care to share? Bottom line, I know it's going to take me to stop, but still, some ideas would be so helpful.
Thanks so much!

26 comments:

  1. Your son is SO sweet. What a great kid. I don't want to disappoint my family either. Especially by 8-y-o son. He's been my biggest cheerleader. I want to be published, but it is a long hard road and my family sacrifices along the way. When I get feeling like I need more encouragement I turn to my CP's, set short-term goals that are dependent only on me (such as word count), make a list of why I write, and pick up a favorite past read.

    I'm looking forward to suggestions from other writers as well. What works for you Jackie?

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    1. Thanks! He's a great kid!!!

      Love your ideas for encouragement. Thanks for sharing them!

      As for me... I don't know yet. I'm hoping to find some different things that work.

      Delete
  2. That is just gorgeous. Isn't it terrible that us writers have such a hard time believing in ourselves when those around us have every faith in us? The only true failure is giving up on your dream, and with support like this, I don't think that will ever happen. Enjoy your day of writing!

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    1. Thanks so much, Angeline!

      I do have an awesome support system, just not much faith in myself. Hoping to change that.

      Delete
  3. Aw, so sweet of your son! He's going to make a great husband some day! I say this from personal knowledge- Jackie, you CAN write, and you WILL get pubbed - it's just a matter of time! Now get to it and suppress those what ifs! (I'm a big what-ifer too. Wish I could kick them out of my head!)

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    1. Yep he will! :)

      Thanks for your kind words. You're the best, Kimmy!

      Delete
  4. A. That's an awesome gift.

    B. I suggest you find every compliment ever paid to your writing and copy/paste it all into a Word document and save that sucker. Then, when you're feeling the ick, and even Adam can't cheer you, open up that doc and remind yourself of your strengths and mad writerly skillz, as viewed by others.
    Some Dark Romantic

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    1. He's such an awesome son!

      And WOW! What a great suggestion! You totally rock. :)

      Delete
  5. I'm with Mina. Take all the feedback you can find that helped you feel empowered, that your work was appreciated and impatiently waited for - make all of it accessible. If you need more - ask for it! Ask your beta readers and friends for something - or THE thing that makes them giddy, or intrigued about your writing, your ideas.
    Let it feed you. I know that it helps me to remember the impatient comments from people of - "do you have more for me to read", etc.
    Eat it up, and take the nourishment :)

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    1. Thanks so much for your advice! :D

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  6. I usually cry under my pillow. Yes, I get the nobody- loves-me-, my-writing-is-terrible-who-cares-anyway attitude.

    BUT.

    After my tears are dried, I get my computer out and go back to work. Something inside me says, "You can do it. I know you can."

    And so, it's back to drawing, I mean WRITING board.

    Family is so important to me and not disappointing them means more to me than anything. But family is usually the ones who pat you on the back and say, "Aww, you never disappoint me." Thank God for our kids, right!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yes, so very true!
      Thanks for stopping by, Ink! :D

      Delete
  7. when insecurities take over, i blog about it and all these wonderful bloggers retore my faith in me!

    and precious, priceless gift! you are doing things right!

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    1. Aw, thanks so much! I sure hope so.

      Delete
  8. What a gorgeous gift! Let the writing community help you lift yourself up. Remember : you can always get better, you can always work and focus on what you CAN do well. We aren't good at saying 'gosh I did that well' but we should! My first IWSG: good to be part of this!

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    1. Welcome to IWSG! :D
      Thanks for your input. You're so right!

      Delete
  9. I love the coupon presents. Kids are sweet.
    Everyone is insecure to some degree. But those that carry on and stick with it eventually conquer their insecurities. You can do it!

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    1. Coupon gifts are the best. :D

      Thanks for the encouragement, James!

      Delete
  10. That was a sweet gift. As long as your family sees that you're trying and you don't give up, they won't be disappointed.

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    1. True. I just need to get those pesky what if's out of my head. :)

      Delete
  11. You have 4 boys and you still have time to write? Wow!

    Sometimes I get depressed and tired of this difficult career path, but then I just take a step back for a while, enjoy life a bit, and return refreshed and recharged. Maybe that could work for you. :-)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It's hard, but I sacrifice sleep to write. Also, my hubby came up with setting side time for me to write. :)

      I agree. Stepping back for a few does help. Thanks for stopping by my blog, Lexa!

      Delete
  12. That's so neat! I'd have cried, too.

    I can relate to your insecurities as well. Those thoughts creep in at the worst times and eat away at us, don't they?

    I haven't been doing much writing since the kids got out of school, though. I've been busy building a new blog. It was the only way to get the Follower gadget to work again.

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    1. Yeah, those thoughts are evil. :/ But it's up to us to ignore them. That's the hard part.

      I'll go check out your new blog!!!

      Delete
  13. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered about the "what-ifs". I haven't published anything yet (am currently working on my first novel and totally rewriting it because the whole thing stunk to me). We can't let those "what-ifs" break us down, though. We will be published!
    M.J. Wille, author

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks for stopping by and for the follow! Hope you have a good writing week!

      Delete

Comments make me happy. So do photos of Adam Levine... <3